[personal profile] apprehensiveacolyte
Crossposted from http://letsreadthesecretsaga.blogspot.com, a separate blog I've created just for this.

Okay! We've got a HELL of a lot of criticism straight off the bat here. Let's begin.

First of all, you'll notice that this story is broken up into five nice, block-quoted paragraphs. Yeah, Katrina didn't do that, I did. This was all one paragraph. Granted, the print on Wattpad is only slightly bigger than the print in your average children's book, so that compensates for the wall of text, but only slightly.

Second of all, I'm honestly struggling to understand... anything she says. I'm not one to nit-pick spelling and grammar, but jesus figure skating fuck. If you're going to publish a story on the internet for everyone to read, you should learn how to use spell check.

In this case, my complaints about her spelling and grammar aren't about intellectual snobbery, they're about readability.

Right. So, in this action-packed installment, our heroine faces such obstacles as stargazing, daddy issues, and a serious crisis of identity. Sounds exciting, right? Then it's time for us to read The Secret Life, Chapter One!

 
I look up at the night sky out my window. The sky is full of stars that pierce though the darkness. I look up and think, the Doctor Is up there somewhere.., its been four months since the last time I talked to him he hasn't answered my telpathic messages or even shown up, but he never has.

"the Doctor Is" Yeah, that's a thing she does. She'll capitalize random Words That have nothing To do with the meaning of the Sentence. (Just wait until she figures out how to use the bold and italic features later. It's like the text version of a bad acid trip.) Also... Yeah. She insists that the Doctor is physically real in this universe, is her father, and that she's in regular communication with him... and then turns around and says that she's been abandoned by him.

Is it bad that I'm kind of laughing at her internally for thinking four months is abandonment? I mean, I'd be THANKFUL if my dad and I only went four months without seeing one another, instead of, you know, five years. (Still waiting on payment for that art commission you ordered from me back in October, Dad. If you can't respect me as your flesh and blood, at least respect me as a fellow artist.)

So many questions I have and no answers to them. Why did he just drop me o those years ago? Why would a father do that to his daughter? Does he even care or love me. I know In my heart he does but he never shows it. Why do I not remember my past? So much I don't know and I long to have the answers for.

Okay, maybe this is just personal preference here, I know a lot of people don't consider this to be canon, but TIME LORDS. ARE. A. STERILE. RACE. I mean, yeah, there are occasions where a relationship could form that's SIMILAR to the dynamics between parents and children on Earth, but... you know what, never mind. I could babble on and on about Galifreyan social dynamics for years. Let's just move on.

The Doctor never let's me see him, and nothing exciting happens in my life except for the occasional strange out of the ordinary things. Every night I find myself looking up at the stars wondering where the Doctor is and wishing he would at least talk to me. Ever since that summer I found out if was a timelord my whole world has changed.

"nothing exciting happens in my life except for the occasional strange out of the ordinary things." Nothing exciting ever happens except for when exciting things happen.

Also, if I had found out my daughter started a cult in my name, I wouldn't want to go anywhere near her either.

I'm a timelord, im not from earth, my home is somewhere far away. Gallifrey. And the planet I thought without a doubt was my home turns out that it wasnt. I'm the Doctors daughter. A name I take pride in. It's who I am. Along with so many other things that make up who I am.

Time Lord is two words.

Also, a note to our readers: What she's describing is (supposedly, I'm not saying she's genuine at all) an awakening-- the process by which someone comes to realize that their mind or soul is something other than human. It's often a painful, confusing experience. The climax of mine happened when I had a vivid flashback to my Initiation, on Gallifrey, and ended up crying in a fetal position on my dad's girlfriend's couch. This probably colored the majority of my interactions with her, come to think of it.

This is something that I want to make very clear to my readers. The fact that Katrina is (supposedly) otherkind is not the problem. The fact that Katrina is (supposedly) plural is also not the problem. The fact that she is using these supposed experiences to construct a personal mythology in which she is a leader who must be followed is the problem.

When someone tells you something so impossible and unbelievable like that you have to question impossible not doubt it. I've been searching everyday for evidence and I have found it. A timelord is who it am it's my personality it's my dream for adventure it's my impossible secret life that I live. My name is crystal my secret name is Katrina and this is the story of my life.

Another problem is that she has apparently not heard of commas.

Also, where's this evidence? May I see it? Seriously, the entire time I was with her, she never provided a shred of evidence for any of her claims. Sure, there were screencaps of superwholock-era Tumblr posts that literally anyone could pull off of iFunny, threads of easily-faked TARDIS encounter photos with excited "IT'S TOTALLY ALL REAL!!11!!!!!11!1one" captions, but actual evidence? Not one line. We were just expected to believe.

And to prepare for the end of the world.

But more on that later.
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