[personal profile] apprehensiveacolyte
 Finally things start to get interesting, and we find out that Patrick Ness actually stole Katrina's idea in order to write Class!
 
Joking, of course. Class is a level of brilliance that Katrina can't even hope to aspire to (and it's only going to get better from here, assuming the rumors of its cancellation are false.) Also, there are gay people in it, whereas Katrina thinks The Gays™ are a plague on society.
 
As one of The Gays™, this caused quite a bit of conflict.
 
Right. So, off we go then!
 
BUT BEFORE WE GO ON, I have something rather important to say.
 
This installment of "Let's Read The Secret Saga" alludes briefly to incest, though it's not graphic at all. If you are triggered or squicked by this, please skip everything from "Also, we need to talk about this 'Geronimo' at the end" to "I guess that when I first read this, I was in too deep to see any of this story through a critical lens."

It was the first day of school another start to a new year, ever since the crazy summer my life has been, not making sense and confusing. I get on the bus following everyone else. Over the summer I was told that a lot of my dad's enemys were surrounding the school waiting for me on the first day. So I had dreaded that first day when I had to go.

I am trying so hard not to correct her grammar, you don't even fucking know.

Of course, any other person would actually give us a recap of their summer vacation if it were truly that eventful. Katrina, on the other hand, seems obsessed with not doing that, or providing... really any evidence that she's actually telling the truth here.

Oh, right, she's not. That much is obvious. But she's... not even trying. How can someone who is so good at being a cult leader simultaneously fail so miserably at being a cult leader? Speaking of which, remind me to tell you about a thing that happened on a writing forum when we were in high school, assuming I can stop cringing at the memory long enough to do so.

The Doctor had informed me on what I should do if someone asked questions about me or him or if I saw something strange. We had a whole plan of swapping stories about if we saw anything strange that day.

Okay then. This seems reasonable, and once again, it's more than my dad would be willing to do.

Apparently the master is my principal in disguise, weeping angels in the front yard and daleks in a underground floor that wasn't supposed to be there. I was never very alert of people around me, but back then I didn't know I was a timelord. 

SAY WHAT NOW

So, we've got the Master, the Daleks, AND THE WEEPING ANGELS? I take back what I said earlier. Clearly, Katrina is in more danger than the gang from Class was ever in. So, let's see what Katrina does about this situation.

When you know that your deadliest enemys the daleks and weeping angels along with the master are all waiting for you at the school you can try not to be scared but it doesn't work too, well. I also wasn't one that's very good at hiding my emotions I'm going to have to learn how to do that, one so no one asks questions and two so the master can't find me within all the students.

Sweetie, don't you think that if the Master was really at your school, disguised as your principal (which, why the hell would he even DO that, it seems like quite a step down from getting himself elected Prime Minister of the UK), he'd be able to spot another Gallifreyan without even trying? He is quite clever that way.

Oh, right, you're not Gallifreyan, as you've proved many times in the first chapter alone. Carry on, then.

I stepped on the bus with a deep breath, to get me ready for this day. This year will definitely be a interesting year. Along with all the other years after. My life is now changed. " Hope today goes well" I think as I sit on the seat on the bus siting right up to the window. Geronimo.  

"Hope today goes well." Yeah, you may be surrounded by entities and beings who are trying to kill you, but at least you still have your incurably optimistic spirit, right? Well, if you can stop angsting for five seconds.

Why is your characterization so bad, Katrina?

~CW: incest mention ahead~

Also, we need to talk about this "Geronimo" at the end. The way Katrina-the-author sees the Doctor and the way Katrina-the-character sees the Doctor are two viewpoints that should not, should not, SHOULD NOT mix together as often as they do.

Katrina-the-author sees the Doctor the way every heterosexual teenage fangirl sees the Doctor-- she idolizes him, wants to be like him, and is also more or less hopelessly in love with him. Meanwhile, Katrina-the-character sees the Doctor as a father figure. The first perspective tends to seep into the story in a MUCH higher volume than is strictly necessary (spoiler alert, it's never necessary, ever), which can make the story... very, very disturbing to read. You don't see it much in these early chapters, thankfully, but we will try to warn for it when it comes up.

I didn't notice this until a friend of ours pointed it out, oddly enough. I guess that when I first read this, I was in too deep to see any of this story through a critical lens.

~end CW~

Even with knowing all the enemys are after me I took some reassurance in the fact that the Doctor, my dad. Was going to be my math teacher. Well more specific, my chemistry teacher. How cool is that. Surrounded by enemys and me and my dad stuck in the middle. It would be the first time I have saw him. Which I don't know why but he never let's me see him, maybe someday I will figure it out.

I'm begging you, Katrina. Please. Learn how to spell "enemies."

Should we start keeping a tally of how many times she misspells that? I mean, if we did that, we'd have to keep track of every "timelord," "physic" (which is how she spells "psychic"), and "parell" too, and... wow, this series would contain more tally marks than The Impossible Astronaut.

Also, once again we see that she loves danger, craves it even. Much more than anyone who has actually been in this kind of danger would. I mean, even the Doctor-- who she's trying her damnedest to emulate, and who has a reputation for treating even near-death situations as exciting new adventures-- gets weary and nihilistic after a point. I mean, we're talking about someone with canonical PTSD and moral injury from the most brutal war in the history of the universe.

Today was a nervous first day as it would be for most students, it not only was going to a new school and my first day in high school, that made me nervous it was the fact that it's my first time going to school knowing I'm an timelord. The master and other enemys allready waiting for me. I just hope all goes well this day. 

Wake up, go to school, save the world. Got it.

K. A. Applegate did this trope so much better. (Though, if we're being realistic, the Secret Saga is basically a bad Sailor Moon knockoff whereas Animorphs' use of this trope is closer to a deconstruction of the trope ala Puella Magi Madoka Magica.)

The bus pulled up to my new school, I grab my things and step off the bus. And look around. No weeping angels like the Doctor said. Hmm wonder why.

I WONDER WHY, KATRINA. I FUCKING WONDER WHY.

You have no idea how to tell a proper lie. Picking this story apart is so easy, even a toddler could do it.  If you're going to say you're the chosen one and you're being attacked, at least commit to the deception, friendo.

Looking around a bit nervous on where they could be. I start walking after still taking a few steps slowly towards the school. It's time to go undercover. To hide Is plain sight. 

In plain sight. You mean IN plain sight.

And yes, you'd know all about hiding in plain sight, wouldn't you. Seeing as you managed to convince me you were Gallifreyan for a year despite being quite obviously not.
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